my stuff

Two things have struck me this week.

The first is from the sermon this past weekend:
1. The #1 competitor for my attention with God is my stuff. (Andy Stanley)

The second is from my bible study:
2. Why do we children of the light so easily become conspirators with the darkness?
Our identity, our sense of self, is at stake... what matters is how I am perceived by the world.
(Henry Nouwen)

I have really been wrestling with these Christian principles for a long time.
This message I have heard from the church my whole life.
"die to this world" "store up your treasures in heaven" "our identity is in Christ"
What do these things mean? I mean, what do they really mean? Rather, what does it look like to not care what the world thinks? I can not even fathom my life not being motivated by "pleasing people". I want to transfer this motivation to pleasing the Father, but its like I'm addicted to this world. No its not "like I am", I AM.

As I stare at the last sentence I just typed, what jumps out at me (maybe you saw it) are the words "I AM". I guess I need to cling to the truth and not what I feel. The truth is He is my everything. He is all I need. He will never let me down. He doesn't have an approval rating for me - He loves me. I don't have to earn it.

It seems so elementary, but its a love that I can not fathom. And some days it sends me spinning...